The first thing you should do is stop thinking theres something wrong with you, because it will only fuel a fire that doesnt need to be. People like us just love with our whole heart and wear it on our sleeves we beleive people love equally which isn't true some people find it easy to love when things are running smooth but when relationships need work together they fail at their part. I thought he felt the same way.   You cannot paste images directly. yet for some reason this last break-up has been harder on me than any other. If your able too, start excersing for you and set mini goals to achieve excersie is a great stress relief and recommend to combat stress and depression. I keep on wondering why it seems everyone else can move on so easily and I'm being left behind. i too am still hurting a lot after 7 months after my breakup and no connection - i still cry about it a little almost every day. You take stock of what you have going for you and build on it. You will get some cold answers like "Get over it" or "move on", but yknow what? I am in my late 40's, divorced for 10 years after an 18 year marriage, have had several long term relationships during this 10 year period. Their certainly isn't anything wrong with what you are feeling. I delve into the pros and cons of each one. I would strongly hope that keeps diminishing...for you too! Will I ever forget him? it takes longer for some people to grieve and also depends on the nature of the relationships - there is no time limit as long as you don't allow yourself to feel completely helpless and give up on life. I felt very comfortable with my ex. Let go of them. Anonymous. Eventually it has to get better. Sideswiped with the recycling thoughts and grief. I mean, it has to...what are the other options? That is still a mystery to me. Even though things are great with my current woman and my ex treated me like shit and broke up with me in a horrible way, I still deeply miss my ex. In October, we had a … What you had...what you should of had. The whole mind and body thing. i'm sorry you're feeling so badly. We were only together 6 months, but we had this amazing connection. I have been moving on, got myslef new job, reclaimed my house that i had to move back into after the breakup and generally got on with my life. Try Relaxing Your Stomach More. The thought of being alone the rest of my life is not appealing. You do legitimately miss them. I'm 41 and we had planned to get married. Destress. There seems to be a perception that varies depending on the people you associate with, on how long it should take to "get over it". If you miss your ex-boyfriend, push past the negative feelings. Work on growing and evolving yourself. 5 Reasons You Still Miss Your Abusive Ex! Minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day. I don't know the answer, because I'm still struggling too....but I guess I would say time, time, time. Wow... you are not alone, my friend. At the time i was still having little feelings for my ex crush. Things you know need fixing within yourself. I loved him and I thought he was the one. When I broke up with my husband of 20 years I never went through this, so why does this one hurt so bad, I am in my mid 40's and sometimes I just feel so helpless and alone, wanting my ex husband back then wanting my ex boyfriend back. stickman's onto something there. 7 months later and I still miss him! Have had therapy since and am happier. Prior to this he didnt say a word after I quit my job to move with him, looked for new jobs in his area and tell my family and friends I was moving,,, I am in so much pain still writing this, I just have such a hole in my heart. and in a year you look back and laugh at where you were.   Your link has been automatically embedded. (1) You suffer from Stockholm Syndrome: Stockholm Syndrome is a psychological condition when the victim is … Now, keeping yourself busy doesn’t mean staring at his Instagram or checking when he was last on WhatsApp. It's been almost 6 months and I still miss my ex. Sure, I occasionally miss my ex still, but it's not enough to derail the progress I've made or to make me go back to her. I started to ride faster and further!! You think. As someone who is past 40, I think I get what you mean about it being harder to move on. But the minute my brain slows down even a little, he sneaks right back in. Yeah, exactly. i think the main thing for me is that i blame myself for most of the bad things that went on in the relationship. Dreams and expectations about how your life was supposed to be. And then a few days later he said it’s over between us and we should just be friends. It's just not fair to your new sweetie, and it won't help you get over your ex any more quickly. Would love your thoughts, please comment. This last breakup that happened 4 months ago after a 2 plus year relationship has absolutely devestated me. How could this happen to me? She is still living with this loser and is now in another town.   Your previous content has been restored. I can relate too...almost 11 months out of an almost 3.5 year relationship. I still think about him and miss him everyday. Do Not Sell My Personal Information. I am going through the exact situation after being with a girl 14 years from age of 17/18 engaged to me married, moving in buying a house. When I started to ride my mountain bike every day after work for an hour, it only took a little over a week and the change started to show!!! First of all, the most obvious reason is Love. i've not seen or heard from him since. After I started to feel better, people started to come back in to my life. I hope you are doing good take care of yourself and keep on going or if they pop in my head keep doing what I'm doing or just keep saying good bye until eventually your mind will just let it slip away don't rush your mind and body it takes some time for people to get over them and I'm still trying but I'm not blaming myself or anything I just go with the flow. I still dream about him sometimes, I still wake up occassionally thinging of him. About what? I know it's part of the process but I feel worn thin with it already! i have to keep telling myself that whatever things i did wrong were mistakes and if i had known then what i know now, of course i wouldn't have done them. However, that doesn’t mean you’re meant to … Your feeling badly is still not going to connect you to your Ex. I am 7 months (exactly!) So, its going to happen... you will cry, no matter how much or how little you thought it meant to you. The No-Contact Rule. I envy people that were able to find a mate while they were still in their prime. Follow. In the meantime, theres nothing wrong with going on some dates and hopefully meeting someone who will respect you and love you for who you are. He is more calm, shy, very handsome, tho lacks confidence, definitely an introvert, but he opened up with me very quickly and declared his love to me after 2 weeks of dating. Twitter. It’s been two months since my ex-girlfriend and I broke up—or since she broke up with me, I should say—and I’m miserable. Some people are understanding about this kind of stuff but others will say you should be over it in X amount of time or less, and thats just not realistic for everyone. It's likely that your ex misses you as you miss them, but just because you miss someone, it doesn't mean you should get back together. You may feel wrong and guilty when you miss or even think about a toxic ex, but here is why it's OK to still be slightly affected by a breakup even years after the fact. Write letters you don’t send. So now I am constantly taking on (what seems like) more than I can handle. I'm 44. i too am still hurting a lot after 7 months after my breakup and no connection - i still cry about it a little almost every day. We all understand that breakups are meant to be difficult and painful. I've been going to a councelor too, have started new things, etc....they make me happier, but I still have a void that I can feel. This has been the absolute hardest thing I have ever done in my life. People deal with heartaches in different ways - I tell myself everything that I need to think about the future. It took me a few months, but I started to realize that I've still got a lot of things and people in my life to be thankful for. i think the main thing for me is that i blame myself for most of the bad things that went on in the relationship. Relaxing the body relaxes the mind far more than the other way around. If you're still heartbroken over your ex, then you shouldn't be dating someone new. When my college ex-boyfriend and I broke up, I missed him intensely. In fact, he told a mutual friend that "nobody remembered my birthday." By Really. What happens when you have time? THEN...The fear of the unknown!!! Late 40's, ex-husbands, kids, etc. The last thing he said to me was in Jan, when he told me to "get over it and move on". I'm not quite 40, but I'm certainly in the catagory of being old enough that I don't date just to date. I can relate to what has happened to you , I just got out of a 4 year relationship 6 months ago and boy do I still feel some gut wrenching pain. You finally get to the point...A point where you stop feeling sorry for yourself and start to DO something about yourself FOR YOURSELF. It was a 5 months relationship. Again, over 40 and starting over can seem like a very scary thing. i too have had other relationships but this one hit me the hardest, it's so strange how that is. I don't miss or even think about her often, but sometimes she'll sneak into a dream after all this time, so what you're experiencing is okay as long as you're trying to learn from the experience and be a better partner to the next one. that doesn't make me an unworthy person, it makes me human. You have to look within yourself and light the fire to change and live again all by yourself. Anonymous. I hope my rambling helped. Some wise person said that if you want to be and look younger, you have to act younger. Add another one to the crushed and devastated, over-40 crowd. I do believe I had invested more of myself in the relationship then my ex did, without a doubt making it even harder as I am the dumpee. But the one thing that you can’t seem to figure out is why they still occupy so much space in your mind, and you want to know why you can’t stop thinking about this relationship after such a long time. Its truly revitalizing in many ways. if anything, i think there's something wrong with the ex who just leaves and moves on like nothing happened, but again, thats all subjective. The fact of matter is, you may still miss your ex years after your breakup, and that's OK. None of those friends he broke up with me to hang out with, did ANYTHING for his birthday. It is probably past time that I get some help (counseling/antidepressants) because I'm seriously stuck. I was with my ex for 4 years. ts been 6 months since he broke up with me (he said he just didn't love me anymore) and i miss him so much. i haven't tried to contact him and i won't ever see him again. My boyfriend left me by moving a far distance for a new job and led me to believe I would be following him later, but when I got home from work the day he left. So, I guess just positive thoughts and pushing through. Having positive, high-quality relationships is the single most important factor to your long-term well-being and the quality of your life. not responding anymore, don't send another message.". I havent cried about him for months and this past couple of days I am so tearful, even crying writing this. And it is sooo hard to get past! I was with my ex for 4 years. I found her number on yellow pages and dialed it but after hearing her voice saying hello i hanged up.I have thought about her eversince and thats driving me crazy. It's been almost 6 months and I still miss my ex. My last boyfriend left me suddenly 2 months ago. He is more calm, shy, very handsome, tho lacks confidence, definitely an introvert, but he opened up with me very quickly and declared his love to me after 2 weeks of dating. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Suddenly, your body is tired and you sleep better...and then you feel better and act better. I'm looking for a wife. My friends have noticed that although I am back to myself mostly, I am not the fun loving person i always was. What ever your still feeling even tho it may hurt it is exactly what your suppose to be feeling right now. How you derailed somehow. A year after his breakup, one young man explained to me that he would imagine his ex being proud of him when he accomplished a difficult task. Not necessarily the best solution, but for the moment it's all I've got. But why? It's the only way thru to the other side but it's a tough road getting there. It doesn't help any that I have 2 other major issues going on as well. Are you good … verylonely, You can post now and register later. perhaps it is related to how much you had invested in the relationship. Display as a link instead, × out of the BU, he dumped me after 2 years. Feeling Unfulfilled? Sorry it's been difficult for you lately. I too tend to have better days and then WHAM!! It’s about how you relate the present to past and future. babysteps at first. Clear editor. After 2 months, I [27F] still miss my ex [28M], I feel so pathetic. She up sticks left and replaced my self within 24hrs not saying she got into a relationship after a day but starting flirtatious fling which has developed into a full blow relationship within 2 weeks of splitting. 0 0. He broke up with me in November over text, which was so devastating, I was so heartbroken. I think its a compounding effect when you ask "whats wrong with me?" I walked in my home finding a break up note from him, blaiming me for all the problems in the relationship, to never contact him. Stay strong and know that you are SO not alone in this!! If the relationship ended for a reason that was nobody’s fault and your time together was generally pretty great, of course you’re going to miss the person who was such a big part of your life for a while. She just cut me out and moved on even when I tried to win her back regardless of her faults because i did love her even for her faults she never could be honest as she chose not to tell myself she got into a new relationship which hurt all over again when I found out through the grape vine from mutual friends. texas divorce laws for abandonment. Agility and Innovation Are the Two Strategic Advantages of Small Businesses, Learning About a Childhood Idol and Gaining Another, Strength-Based Parenting, With Dr. Lea Waters, Four Feelings You Should Never Tolerate in a Healthy Relationship, The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men's Lives is a Killer, 10 Things Good Men Should Never Do in a Relationship, The First Myth of Patriarchy: The Acorn on the Pillow, 8 Warning Signs She's Not the Right Woman For You, The Reality That All Women Experience That Men Don’t Know About, White Fragility: Why It's So Hard to Talk to White People About Racism, What We Talk About When We Talk About Men: The Top 12 Issues Men Face Today. i'm sorry you're feeling so badly. Do the right thing and break up with your current boyfriend … Him. It's been 4 months since he broke up with me for someone else, 3.5 months of push and pull, and 11 days since he told me "time to move. 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